I’ve been in Olympia, WA visiting a friend and have been eating well. Craft brews, handmade cheese, raw honey, raw milk, and artesian well water. After all this cheese eating I thought I would have gained weight. Strangely, I’ve lost weight. Must be all the walking and co-op food.
My inner hippie is surfacing…maybe for good.
[video]
I haven’t made a tagged personal post in a long while. I guess I’m writing because I’ve experienced some pretty rough moments and I need to get it out. Who better to bore than the internet and my hoards of followers? [~sarcasm] These past few months have been full of different changes. I’m going to grad school in the fall, I’m dating someone without getting itchy feet, I’ve kept my current job and I don’t hate my co-workers/work; I’ve been a depressed optimist, but really mostly an optimist. I know that I’m a powerful, purposeful person and if I choose to make things happen they will happen. Not to sound all egotistical, and shit. It’s just that manifesting things/events/happiness in your life is something all people are capable of - that means YOU, dear reader.
Anyway, when I was in high school and basically a fucking secret delinquent (drugs, and other poor choices) I actually tried to be a productive and empathetic member of society my senior year. I started to visit a senior citizen community center and I made a friend. She was very special to me and she passed away a few weeks ago. I have never dealt with death well. I mean, really, who does? It felt like I was sinking into a pit of guilt. I hadn’t visited as much as I had meant to before she passed. The pit included questions about dying and a lot of other existential stuff I was not mentally prepared to handle. So, I had a little trip to crazy town and was basically a fucking secret wreck for a good two weeks. The theme is “secret”; I’m really trying to be better about expressing my feelings, but damn, sometimes it’s hard. And then on top of that, shit with one of the ‘rents went down. Shit that I am so not down with, which involves a lot of money and addiction. No bueno.
Then I found out someone in my family had figured out her husband was cheating on her. And it just hurt a lot because you want people you care about to be happy and fulfilled. It brought back a lot of unpleasant, horrible memories for me, too, and caused me to question why someone would ass around on another person. Wasn’t the relationship ever important, even for a little bit? What happened to loyalty? Our bonds with the people around us are so very precious, special things. Fucking around with someone on the side isn’t just a temporary thing. Things will get inevitably get screwed up and you will be found out, sooner or later. Jesus, and the consequences…what a mess.
Sometimes, I view my relationships with people as mirrors. Especially, like, my boyfriend I guess since we have a pretty uniquely exclusive relationship. Ok, so, if I view relationships as mirrors my actions/words project an image of the other person. Still with me? Basically, they don’t always have to believe what you do, or say, but I mean…come on. It’s a pretty powerful thing to have someone close to you project negative, or positive behavior towards you. Either way, if you want to help someone believe they are pretty fucking awesome you have to project and manifest that sentiment to them. Plus, since it’s all about mirroring…it will reflect on you, too. Anyone who is mirroring positive energy in their relationship is pretty fucking awesome.
So, to anyone who is, like, all about being critical and throwing negativity around and being a genuine asshole…go fuck yourself. I would have to say 90% of the time when you criticize someone, or bring up something negative about them that sentiment is already in that other person’s head. You just did an asshole move without contributing anything positive to the situation.
Let’s all try to be more loving and considerate. Also, I will try to use less profanity in a future post. I’m essentially trying to be a better person overall. It’s been a pretty eventful year thus far.
[video]
mfred asked: Grrrl, talk sriracha to me. YUM
That is sexy talk that can take place in my bedroom.
This is Synthia. This is me.
(Source: tv-dinners, via charislikerawr)
(Source: memejelly, via charislikerawr)
My other roommate likes to write stores about ghost and masturbating in public bathrooms…
Plus I make appearances which increase the quality of the stories dramatically.
Yeah, read her stories, too.
wantwantwantwantwantwantwant
I have this roommate and he likes to write stories. If you’re into Doctor Who, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica and similar shit that keeps vagina out of your bed, this is right up your alley.
Yah. Read my friend’s short stories.
“In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love; the old Gaelic term for this is anam ċara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul and ċara is the word for friend. So anam ċara in the Celtic world was the “soul friend.” In the early Celtic church, a person who acted as a teacher, companion, or spiritual guide was called an anam ċara. It originally referred to someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam ċara you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. This friendship was an act of recognition and belonging. When you had an anam ċara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality, and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the “friend of your soul.” The Celtic understanding did not set limitations of space or time on the soul. There is no cage for the soul. The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This art of belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship. In his Conferences, John Cassian says this bond between friends is indissoluble: “This, I say, is what is broken by no chances, what no interval of time or space can sever or destroy, and what even death itself cannot part.”
In everyone’s life, there is great need for an anam ċara, a soul friend. In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person’s soul.”
- John O’Donohue, Anam Ċara